"Mr. B"

As promised, a little bit about one of the kids I worked with. I alluded to "Mr. B" in my last entry. He was the kid I probably spent the most time with and studied the hardest. He's also one of the kids I'll probably miss the most. B is a 5th grader by age and physical development but a toddler in cognitive function and physical capability. He is completely nonverbal, although definitely not silent... he squeals and screams and squawks a lot. He wears diapers (changing him at first was AWKWARD); he also needs to be fed which is challenging because he eats mostly foods like yogurt and baby food and loves to grab the spoon and throw the food if it's close enough for him to reach. Let's just say that I went home almost every day smelling of yogurt and even one day went home with a yogurt hand print on my bum.

Few other kids are willing to be anywhere close to B, because he is very unpredictable and it is not uncommon for him to reach out and grab their hair or pinch them. And I can say from experience that it hurts. He has multiple issues, not the least of which is that he is considered a "head-banger", so he has to wear a soft helmet at all times so that he can't hurt himself. He suffers from severe allergies, so in allergy season he is very uncomfortable which translates to aggression since he has no other way to express himself. Needless to say, it took me a little while to get to a point where I enjoyed working with him.

The more I studied this child, though, and learned that a very slight twist of his lips meant "no", a slightly different twist meant that he wanted to play, and when he pursed his lips it meant that he was agitated, I began to feel real compassion for him. What would it be like to be stuck in his body? Did I have the ability to look past the yogurt smell I was constantly drenched in and the many bruises he gave me to see that I had not read him well enough because he was actually frustrated or uncomfortable... that it was not in fact his fault that he was acting out but mine for not paying attention to why he was acting that way? The more I got to know him, I was able to avoid situations that made him frustrated and I learned ways to calm him or make him happy. I learned that squeezing his hands and counting to 3 was a game to him and I could make him happy for hours by doing that. I learned that he loved the sound of velcro and bubble gum popping and stapling. He could contentedly watch me typing on the computer or cutting paper for surprisingly long periods of time. I list these things off now, but it took me weeks to learn and figure out these seemingly little discoveries. Before I realized it, Mr. B had worked his way into my heart, and though he understands very little, he began to know me. And he began to like me back. And one day, he surprised me and kissed me on the cheek. Somehow, the yogurt smell didn't bother me as much, the squealing didn't annoy me as much, and the pinching was far less frequent. All the hard work was beginning to pay off.

I never thought I would miss a job like this, and there are things I definitely won't miss. I will, however, miss the challenge of studying these kids and having the opportunities to do the little things that make them happy. I will miss the privilege of being known by those who recognize little. I consider it one of the greater accomplishments of my lifetime.